diff --git a/litecord/blueprints/relationships.py b/litecord/blueprints/relationships.py
index 46e3b03..80985dd 100644
--- a/litecord/blueprints/relationships.py
+++ b/litecord/blueprints/relationships.py
@@ -15,6 +15,17 @@ async def get_me_relationships():
     return jsonify(await app.storage.get_relationships(user_id))
 
 
+async def _unsub_friend(user_id, peer_id):
+    await app.dispatcher.unsub('friend', user_id, peer_id)
+    await app.dispatcher.unsub('friend', peer_id, user_id)
+
+
+async def _sub_friend(user_id, peer_id):
+    await app.dispatcher.sub('friend', user_id, peer_id)
+    await app.dispatcher.sub('friend', peer_id, user_id)
+
+
+
 async def make_friend(user_id: int, peer_id: int,
                       rel_type=RelationshipType.FRIEND.value):
     _friend = RelationshipType.FRIEND.value
@@ -54,6 +65,8 @@ async def make_friend(user_id: int, peer_id: int,
             'user': await app.storage.get_user(user_id)
         })
 
+        await _sub_friend(user_id, peer_id)
+
         return '', 204
 
     # check if friend AND not acceptance of fr
@@ -70,6 +83,9 @@ async def make_friend(user_id: int, peer_id: int,
             'user': await app.storage.get_user(user_id)
         })
 
+        # we don't make the pubsub link
+        # until the peer accepts the friend request
+
         return '', 204
 
     return
@@ -116,6 +132,8 @@ async def add_relationship(peer_id: int):
         'user': await app.storage.get_user(peer_id)
     })
 
+    await _unsub_friend(user_id, peer_id)
+
     return '', 204
 
 
@@ -169,6 +187,8 @@ async def remove_relationship(peer_id: int):
             'type': peer_del_type,
         })
 
+        await _unsub_friend(user_id, peer_id)
+
         return '', 204
 
     # was a block!
@@ -182,4 +202,6 @@ async def remove_relationship(peer_id: int):
         'type': _block,
     })
 
+    await _unsub_friend(user_id, peer_id)
+
     return '', 204